The Love Factor
With Valentine’s Day fast approaching my thoughts are dominated by the romance this day represents. In years past I would stick with tradition when it came to giving my spouse a gift. Flowers and candy are still the most popular way to show your love on Valentine’s Day (check out the lines at your local Chocolatier or Florist Shop), but after 21 years of marriage, I’ve moved beyond the expected displays of affection. I want the gift I choose to last more than one day. I want it to be meaningful to my husband. I want it to have the Love Factor.
The Word of God teaches us to love one another as Christ loved us. Jesus’ love for us cost him dearly. Love should also cost us something…and I don’t mean financially–that would be too easy. We can love by letting go of past hurts. While this can be hard to do, the Lord’s Prayer instructs us to forgive the trespasses of others as God forgives our sins. So this Valentine’s Day choose to give the gift of GRACE and forgive your spouse for that time he or she really let you down, hurt your pride, or destroyed your trust. It will free you both. This gift of grace is freely available when we tap into the power of the Love Factor.
Here’s another gift you could give that isn’t entirely selfless…the gift of touch. Hold your spouse’s hand…run your hands through their hair…kiss them and linger there. Feelings follow actions. If you’ve been physically distant from each other, just get it re-started. Through touch both of you will be flooded with oxytocin (the love hormone), which God created to bond us together. An added bonus of freely flowing oxytocin is that it neutralizes the stress hormones in our bodies and provides a greater sense of well-being. If you have been experiencing higher levels of stress in your relationship recently, you need the Love Factor.
What if this Valentine’s Day we also choose to look at our spouse with the same compassionate eyes as Christ? We can choose to be their #1 encourager in this life. Imagine the difference it would make to them to hear these affirming words: “I love you…I have faith in you…I see the best in you.” This is exactly what I hear the Holy Spirit say to me, even on my worst day. Our mate has bad days too; the world can be unkind to them. We can therefore choose to be a kind, positive force in their life. A wonderful wife, mother, and gifted speaker by the name of Kathleen Hart once told me that her goal is to; “be a little bit of heaven on earth to my husband, Archibald.” Find a way to do that for your spouse every day.
I’m determined to celebrate the spirit of Valentine’s Day every day. I am so glad that God created marriage to sharpen and mature us. And I am so thankful He has given us a covenant partner to have and to hold through the ups and downs of life. God knew it was not good for man to be alone, so let’s be thankful for our spouses each and every day. And above all, let’s rejoice in the truth that we have the Love Factor–Jesus Christ–to lead the way in loving one another.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ Godforgave you. Eph. 4:32
